


Richie Tozier Spiralling Over The Course Of Three Years

by comedianrichie



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Mentions of alcoholism, Nurse Eddie, Radio Host Richie, Relationship at the end, Richie leaves Derry when he’s 18, Suicide Attempt, mentions of drug abuse, richies POV, unhappy richie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-23
Updated: 2020-01-23
Packaged: 2021-02-19 11:42:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22377247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/comedianrichie/pseuds/comedianrichie
Summary: Richie struggling over the course of three years.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 1
Kudos: 40





	Richie Tozier Spiralling Over The Course Of Three Years

**Author's Note:**

> This does talk about suicide, proceed with caution please

The night of Richie’s eighteenth birthday he packs his bag full of clothes and sneaks out his window, dropping down into his mothers garden bed full of slightly wilted flowers. He doesn’t look back as he walks away from his childhood home, he walks until he reaches Eddies house he throws pebbles up at his window until he leans out, lamplight glow casting a shadow. They stare at each other and words don’t need to be said, Eddie takes one look at his backpack and immediately knows this will be the last time they see each other. Richie looks up at his first love with pain in his eyes because he doesn’t have to leave but he does. He needs to go now while he still has the courage to leave this shit town, needs to disappear before this town makes him disappear. Eddie looks mad more then sad and that hurts Richie more then if he’d seen Eddie cry. Richie clenches his fist before fixing his backpack on his shoulder, he takes one good last look at Eddie before walking away because if he doesn’t walk away now he won’t leave. He won’t ever leave. 

Richie takes himself to the Welcome to Derry sign and stands there for a moment just remembering, he grits his teeth and keeps moving he takes himself all the way to the nearest highway and hitch-hikes his way across country to LA it takes him nearly two days and hopping from one car to the other until he makes the homestretch in a combie full of free spirits. He kisses a pretty girl just before he leaves them, it’s his first kiss and she gives him pot as a good luck gift before the van drives away. Richie tucks it into his backpack. Richie spends the day just walking around then he finds a cheap motel to stay in and enjoys showering and getting high on the shitty motel bed. 

The next day Richie takes to finding a way to get easy money so he can make it here in LA, it takes him two months before he gets a stable job paying good money. It’s not what he wants to be doing but it pays rent. He lives in a tacky apartment above a laundromat and can always hear the machines washing at night when he’s trying to sleep but it’s the cheapest place he could afford so he’s not complaining. He works every day of the week and by the new year he’s got enough money to quit his shit job and move onto trying to find a radio station that’ll except a barely qualified eighteen year old. He joins a station in March and earns good money while doing something that suits his talents. He celebrates his nineteenth alone and drunk. He falls in love in April with a pretty girl that reminds him of the free spirit that gave him his first kiss. She’s nice, she dotes on Richie and makes sure he eats when he comes home after a late night at the station, she’s good to him so he doesn’t understand why he breaks up with her in June. He tells her it’s not her it’s him and that’s she’s a wonderful person, all the nice stuff but it still gets ugly and Richie doesn’t have the energy to deal with it so he packs her shit up and leaves it at his front door for her to pick up.

August comes quickly and he gets a raise and can finally move out of his shitty apartment to something decent, the new apartment is a studio type and looks mostly empty when he moves in due to his lack of personal belongings. Everything from his old apartment was too much and now it’s not enough, Richie ends up buying a few things he wished he could’ve had before and it fills the space nicely. He starts dating again and finds a nice guy who’s a year older than him, he takes Richie to bars and feeds into his alcoholism and buys him weed when he’s having a hard week with work, which seems to be every week. Richie shows up to work hungover most days and always reeks of weed, it isn’t until his coworker says something that Richie realises he needs help. He drops the guy and quits cold turkey on everything. Richie picks his life back up easily and tries to throw himself into his work and making new friends. 

October goes by in a blur, Richie relapses and nearly gets fired by his manager when he shows up to work pissed and coked out of his mind. He checks himself into rehab for two months and finds the help he needs, when he checks out he sees a psychologist regularly and things seem to look up again. His job is what gets him through things now, scared to lose the only thing that makes him anymore. Richie finishes that year stone cold sober watching his work friends drinking. It’s depressing.

March next year Richie finds himself in hospital after a suicide attempt. Twentieth birthday ruined when he tries to take one too many antidepressants. Richie wakes up to a nurse looking over his vitals.

“Eddie?” The nurse seems to startle and when he turns to Richie, Richie’s heart skips a beat.

Eddie Kaspbrak, first love and best friend is standing before him in scrubs looking nearly almost the same as last time Richie saw him.

“Holy fuck.” Eddie grips onto the railing of his bed and takes a few exaggerated breaths.

“Didn’t think I’d ever see you again.” Richie tries to sit up but his head hurts too much.

“No shit! You left me and fucking look at you now. A suicidal, alcoholic junkie. Fuck, what happened these past three years?” Richie groans and shakes his head.

“I don’t wanna talk about it.” Eddie scoffs.

“No, I’m not taking that as an answer, Richard Tozier you’ll tell me what the fuck happened and how you ended up this unhappy.” Eddie sits down on the chair beside the bed, face and tone set.

“What do you want to hear from me Eddie? That I fucked up when I left you? That for everyday I was gone I hated myself even more, that no matter how much I tried to keep myself busy I still felt like I was empty? Or that I turned to drinking and drugs because I couldn’t bear being lucid for a minute since every time I was I wanted to end my life then and there? Fuck what do you want me to say!” Richie shouts, headache worsening.

Eddie is crying, little hiccuping sobs leaving his chest.

“Richie.” Richie shakes his head.

“Leave me alone.” Eddie nods and gets up, he take one last look at Richie before leaving him.

Richie spends a week in hospital before getting released. When he gets back to his apartment it just reminds him of what he did, so he starts packing his shit and looking for a new apartment. Richie by some fucking miracle still has his job and money in the bank, he moves across the city to a nice area that is quiet. His new apartment is a little smaller then his last and it comes with a second bedroom that he uses as storage area until he can think of something better. He goes back to work and doesn’t talk about his time off, he just works hard and on his off days goes to another psychologist who helps him through all the fucked up things in his head. After things get clearer Richie visits the hospital in hopes of running into Eddie, he lies to the front desk saying that Eddie was his husband and they allow him through to the ward he’s working on. It’s by chance that he runs into him, Eddie seems to be in a hurry but takes the time to talk with Richie. They settle in going out after Eddies shift so Richie waits in the waiting area for Eddie to finish, they head out to the nearest cafe and talk.

“I shouldn’t of got angry at you Ed’s, it’s just things aren’t exactly easy anymore but I am seeing someone about it. I’m getting better.” Eddie takes a sip of his tea.

“That’s good to hear Rich, I’m glad you’re getting better. You look better, you sound better. I’ve been listening to your station when I get the time, you seem happier.” Richie stirs his spoon around in his coffee mug.

“Yeah, I’ve got a good support system right now. I moved recently into a nice area and the lady downstairs likes to feed me, I think she’s into me but she’s like forty.” Richie chuckles and Eddie joins in.

“Gross.” Eddie sticks his tongue out.

It goes pleasantly quiet as they drink their drinks. It’s doesn’t last long.

“God you look good Ed’s. Like really good. Kinda unfair how good you look, I’m out here looking like a recovering junkie which, I am, but you’re gorgeous. Whoever has you is so lucky.” Richie says, mouth working on its own.

“I don’t have anyone, I’ve been too busy with nursing that I haven’t dated and don’t be too harsh on yourself I think you look great.” Richie nods then decides to take a chance.

“Would you go on a date with me?” Eddie widens his eyes, his cheeks flush.

“This wasn’t a date?” It’s quiet before they both start laughing.

“It can be. I mean, I know I don’t have much to offer you, I’m a bit of a mess, but I could make you so happy Ed’s. Make up for lost time.” Eddie grabs Richie’s hand.

“I know you can, and I’ll try to make you happy as well.” Richie squeezes his hand.

They finish their drinks and decide to go for a walk before exchanging numbers. Richie goes back home feeling lighter than air. It’s a nice change.

By the new year Eddie and Richie are driving back to Derry Maine, holding hands over the centre console and listening to Eddies shitty taste in music. Happier than they’ve ever been.


End file.
